Don’t put off until tomorrow what can be done as well the day after tomorrow.<\/p>\n
The diet is what you eat the organic salad of the farmer at lunch, snack on the farmer’s carrot and the farmer at dinner.<\/p>\n
I looked at the mirror and saw two dark circles with a woman around. Good night!<\/p>\n
My bed is a magical place where I can think of everything I should have done and I didn’t.<\/p>\n
My problem is that when I sleep, I get the strokes of genius, and when I wake up, my sleep.<\/p>\n
Being compatible means having the same charger for the phone.<\/p>\n
Sooner or later the chargers will become aware of their power and rule the world.<\/p>\n
Whoever is about to become a good leader must first have been under one head.<\/p>\n
The Pope: the only one who never sees his own boss, not even at Christmas.<\/p>\n
If you don’t understand, ask your boss. As always, he will ask you to ask someone else.<\/p>\n
The bartender knows me so well that in the cappuccino he draws me the two of spades.<\/p>\n
Good morning. Looking for a stand-in who starts the day in my place.<\/p>\n
In life you always smile because no one is so important as to take away your smile! Good morning<\/p>\n
smile, it’s free! Good morning!<\/p>\n
Let’s say that today seventy percent of humanity still dies of hunger, and that thirty percent do the diet.<\/p>\n
And what job do you do? – The poor.<\/p>\n
It’s a long and bloody story, which I lived mostly drunk.<\/p>\n
I have the super power to go to bed tired and wake up dead tired. Good morning!<\/p>\n
I wish you all a happy day! Because happy people don’t break the balls.<\/p>\n
We are made of 98% water. Which means that if we drink a glass of water we seriously risk drowning.<\/p>\n
If you feel useless and depressed, remember that one day you were the fastest spermatozoon of all.<\/p>\n
Never argue with an idiot, drag you to his level and beat you with experience.<\/p>\n
Always remember that you are absolutely UNIQUE. Just like everyone else.<\/p>\n
Only two things are endless: the universe and human stupidity, but about the universe I still have some doubts.<\/p>\n
If you don’t want the cat to walk on you while you sleep, well, you decide to sleep standing up.<\/p>\n
There are two types of women: those who still believe in love and those who have already found a cat.<\/p>\n
The beautiful people find them by chance, the right ones for luck … you can always find shitty ones!<\/p>\n
Good morning! There are two types of people in the world: those who get up early in the morning and those who would like to shoot them!<\/p>\n
In bed I’m incredible, I can sleep for a whole day!<\/p>\n
A diamond is forever, but even confetti is no joke.<\/p>\n
Daddy buy me confetti? – No, last year you threw them all away!<\/p>\n
The only happy ending I know is the weekend.<\/p>\n
My wife and I always hold hands, otherwise we take each other.<\/p>\n
A successful man is one who earns more than what his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.<\/p>\n
Who says money doesn’t make happiness doesn’t know where to go shopping!<\/p>\n
The woman when preparing a suitcase does not decide what to bring, she decides what to leave at home.<\/p>\n
What to say to a pissed off woman: You’re right, I’m wrong, Let’s go to Ikea? If that’s not enough, hide in his bag. He will never find you.<\/p>\n
Things that should be abolished: people who talk to you in the morning, people, in the morning.<\/p>\n
If you go to work humming happily you have 3 possibilities: you are a billionaire, you take drugs or you are one of the seven dwarfs.<\/p>\n
Marriage is the main cause of divorce.<\/p>\n
The book of life begins with the image of a man and a woman in a garden. Ends with the Apocalypse.<\/p>\n
I’m not afraid of death. I have been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and this did not cause me the slightest disturbance.<\/p>\n
I think the magic of Christmas is being able to take 10 kg in 24 hours.<\/p>\n
What then in the end removed the first 24 hours, Monday is not so bad.<\/p>\n
A week is seven days: Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Friday, Saturday and pre-Monday.<\/p>\n
The archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interesting he is!<\/p>\n
We don’t know what men and women do in paradise. We only know that they do not marry.<\/p>\n
Age is not important unless you are a cheese.<\/p>\n
I was very early with women. Do you think I didn’t understand them at 14?<\/p>\n
Women, what wonderful beings. They always look forward and never back. Even when they park.<\/p>\n
All we need is love. However, a little chocolate from time to time doesn’t hurt.<\/p>\n
Summarize your life in one word: sofa. In two words: sofa bed.<\/p>\n
Dear life, when I asked you if it could be worse than that, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.<\/p>\n
Frases divertidas La dieta es lo que come la ensalada org\u00e1nica del granjero en el almuerzo, la merienda en la zanahoria del granjero y el granjero en la cena.<\/p>\n Mir\u00e9 al espejo y vi dos c\u00edrculos oscuros con una mujer alrededor. Buenas noches!<\/p>\n Mi cama es un lugar m\u00e1gico donde puedo pensar en todo lo que deber\u00eda haber hecho y no hice.<\/p>\n Mi problema es que cuando duermo, recibo los golpes de genio, y cuando me levanto, duermo.<\/p>\n Ser compatible significa tener el mismo cargador para el tel\u00e9fono.<\/p>\n Tarde o temprano, los cargadores se dar\u00e1n cuenta de su poder y gobernar\u00e1n el mundo.<\/p>\n Quien est\u00e1 a punto de convertirse en un buen l\u00edder primero debe haber estado bajo una sola cabeza.<\/p>\n El Papa: el \u00fanico que nunca ve a su propio jefe, ni siquiera en Navidad.<\/p>\n Si no entiendes, preg\u00fantale a tu jefe. Como siempre, \u00e9l te pedir\u00e1 que le preguntes a alguien m\u00e1s.<\/p>\n El camarero me conoce tan bien que en el capuchino me dibuja las dos espadas.<\/p>\n Buenos d\u00edas. Buscando un suplente que comienza el d\u00eda en mi lugar.<\/p>\n \u00a1En la vida siempre sonr\u00edes porque nadie es tan importante como para quitarte la sonrisa! buenos d\u00edas<\/p>\n \u00a1la sonrisa es gratis! Buenos d\u00edas!<\/p>\n Digamos que hoy el setenta por ciento de la humanidad todav\u00eda muere de hambre, y que el treinta por ciento hace la dieta.<\/p>\n \u00bfY qu\u00e9 trabajo haces? – Los pobres<\/p>\n Es una historia larga y sangrienta, que viv\u00ed mayormente borracha.<\/p>\n Tengo el s\u00faper poder de irme a la cama cansado y despertarme cansado. Buenos d\u00edas!<\/p>\n \u00a1Les deseo a todos un feliz d\u00eda! Porque la gente feliz no rompe las bolas.<\/p>\n Estamos hechos de 98% de agua. Lo que significa que si tomamos un vaso de agua corremos el riesgo de ahogarnos.<\/p>\n Si te sientes in\u00fatil y deprimido, recuerda que un d\u00eda fuiste el espermatozoide m\u00e1s r\u00e1pido de todos.<\/p>\n Nunca discuta con un idiota, lo arrastre a su nivel y lo golpee con experiencia.<\/p>\n Siempre recuerda que eres absolutamente \u00daNICO. Como todos los dem\u00e1s.<\/p>\n Solo dos cosas son infinitas: el universo y la estupidez humana, pero sobre el universo todav\u00eda tengo algunas dudas.<\/p>\n Si no quieres que el gato te camine mientras duermes, bueno, decides dormir de pie.<\/p>\n Hay dos tipos de mujeres: las que todav\u00eda creen en el amor y las que ya han encontrado un gato.<\/p>\n La gente hermosa los encuentra por casualidad, los correctos para la suerte … \u00a1siempre puedes encontrar a los de mierda!<\/p>\n Buenos d\u00edas! Hay dos tipos de personas en el mundo: \u00a1los que se levantan temprano en la ma\u00f1ana y los que desean dispararles!<\/p>\n En la cama soy incre\u00edble, \u00a1puedo dormir un d\u00eda entero!<\/p>\n Un diamante es para siempre, pero incluso el confeti no es broma.<\/p>\n \u00bfPapi me compra confeti? – \u00a1No, el a\u00f1o pasado los tiraste a todos!<\/p>\n El \u00fanico final feliz que conozco es el fin de semana.<\/p>\n Mi esposa y yo siempre nos tomamos de la mano, de lo contrario nos tomamos el uno al otro.<\/p>\n Un hombre exitoso es aquel que gana m\u00e1s de lo que su esposa puede gastar. Una mujer exitosa es aquella que puede encontrar a un hombre as\u00ed.<\/p>\n \u00a1Qui\u00e9n dice que el dinero no hace la felicidad no sabe a d\u00f3nde ir de compras!<\/p>\n La mujer cuando prepara una maleta no decide qu\u00e9 traer, ella decide qu\u00e9 dejar en casa.<\/p>\n Qu\u00e9 decirle a una mujer enojada: Tienes raz\u00f3n, estoy equivocado, \u00bfvamos a Ikea? Si eso no es suficiente, esconderse en su bolsa. El nunca te encontrar\u00e1.<\/p>\n Cosas que deber\u00edan ser abolidas: personas que hablan contigo por la ma\u00f1ana, personas, por la ma\u00f1ana.<\/p>\n Si vas a trabajar cantando alegremente tienes 3 posibilidades: eres multimillonario, tomas drogas o eres uno de los siete enanitos.<\/p>\n El matrimonio es la principal causa del divorcio.<\/p>\n El libro de la vida comienza con la imagen de un hombre y una mujer en un jard\u00edn. Termina con el Apocalipsis.<\/p>\n No tengo miedo a la muerte. He estado muerto por miles y miles de millones de a\u00f1os antes de nacer, y esto no me caus\u00f3 la m\u00e1s m\u00ednima molestia.<\/p>\n Creo que la magia de la Navidad es poder tomar 10 kg en 24 horas.<\/p>\n Lo que luego al final elimin\u00f3 las primeras 24 horas, el lunes no es tan malo.<\/p>\n Una semana son siete d\u00edas: lunes, lunes, lunes, lunes, viernes, s\u00e1bado y antes del lunes.<\/p>\n El arque\u00f3logo es el mejor esposo que una mujer puede tener: \u00a1cuanto mayor es, m\u00e1s interesante es!<\/p>\n No sabemos qu\u00e9 hacen los hombres y las mujeres en el para\u00edso. Solo sabemos que no se casan.<\/p>\n La edad no es importante a menos que seas un queso.<\/p>\n Llegu\u00e9 muy temprano con las mujeres. \u00bfCrees que no los entend\u00ed a los 14?<\/p>\n Mujeres, qu\u00e9 seres maravillosos. Siempre miran hacia adelante y nunca hacia atr\u00e1s. Incluso cuando se estacionan.<\/p>\n Todo lo que necesitamos es amor. Sin embargo, un poco de chocolate de vez en cuando no duele.<\/p>\n Resume tu vida en una palabra: sof\u00e1. En dos palabras: sof\u00e1 cama.<\/p>\n Querida vida, cuando te pregunt\u00e9 si podr\u00eda ser peor que eso, fue una pregunta ret\u00f3rica, no un desaf\u00edo.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Don’t put off until tomorrow what can be done as well the day after tomorrow. 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\n<\/strong>
\nNo pospongas hasta ma\u00f1ana lo que se pueda hacer tambi\u00e9n pasado ma\u00f1ana.<\/p>\n